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It’s Not About Me. And It’s All About Me.

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Jan G. van der Hoop, President of HiringSmart™ — our go-to partner for help on how to hire more effectively, will be contributing to this blog on Fridays.  You can reach him directly at 905-338-7961 or

It’s an interesting paradox about leadership and life.

As we consistently see in our workshops, when we ask participants to look closely at the people who have been the most influential in their lives, one of the most consistent attributes is that these leaders’ attention is invariably focused on those around them, and on supporting their learning, growth, and success. It is this focus on others that had them make such a difference in their lives. It’s not about me is their mantra.

And yet, on another level, our assumptions, beliefs, perceptions, judgments and expectations shape our life and give us the reality we experience daily. In terms of how we see the world and how we interpret our experiences… it really is all about me.

The Coach’s Tip – What is it really all about?

  • What choices am I making, consciously or otherwise, that are giving me what I am experiencing now? What shifts on my part would shift that experience for the better?
  • What relationships, at work or elsewhere, would most benefit from a shift in focus on my part – from myself, my agenda and my needs, to the other person and their growth and forward movement?

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